Sorry lovelies for the not writing blogs for a while thing. I have been on a different adventure, but that is still not an excuse! Anyway, I created and published my new website, please check it out and tell me what you think! JuJuthePoet
I shall return with more updates!
Be well in writing,
Judy
Please excuse me from the long absence. I actually started working on a blog about my trip to New Orleans but decided against it.
There are countless injustices going on in New Orleans that it is almost impossible to list them all in a blog post. I will post some pictures soon! I promise…
I do have a project in mind that I want to do that was inspired by the trip, but that would take some time to complete- possibly a month.
Besides that, I have been looking for work. I was accepted to a program called Street Wise and was partnered up with mentors in the publishing and editing world. Yay! Right up my alley.
I am also working on building my website through iweb.
I am short of two more things I need (equipment-wise) to start my business. And I am starting classes in Graphic Print Design at NYU this fall.
All in all, I am keeping busy.
Lastly, my blog post entitled “Sometimes I Feel Like Writing” was posted in another blog at www.peevishpenman.com and I am so thrilled about that…
Sooner or later, I am going to need a copyeditor 
Any takers?
Be Well in Writing,
Judy
Just wanted to let yall know that I am flying out this Thursday morning to volunteer in the Lower 9th Ward in New Orleans.
Pray that I will be a service to my people out there. I always wanted to go out there after Katrina to volunteer and now it is finally happening. I will try to post while I am out there. Picture posting might be done on Twitter.
I do not know how it will go and if I will have reception. In any event. I will be back with an update, so check in when you can.
Be Well in Writing,
Judy
P.S. Imma miss my Zi, sooooo much 
I am a lover of good poetry.
Performance is important as well, but I am more interested in what is being said,
than how it is said.
Both writing and performance are important elements to the craft of Spoken Word.
So, when you could do both, you are hot shhh like a Patricia Smith or a Marty McConnel & etc…
Anyway, July has just past and even though New York has had more rain than sunshine, there has been great poetry and performance events around the city, particularly in Harlem.
The Last Poets are infamous for their contribution to hip hop and to Spoken Word. They are world renowned artist and healers. Truly juju-poets 
Many may criticize them for their excessive use of the n- word, but it was all done in good intention. I will not get into how I feel about the word “nigger” but I promise I will in a later post. They are healers because they are a huge outlet for the injustices of Amerikkka, especially during and after the Vietnam “War”.
On Saturday, July 18, 2009, the Harlem Book Fair (hosted by Brother Earl and jessica Care moore) honored Abiodun Oyewole for his open house that he has been running for twenty some odd years. FINALLY! It is really a humbling thing to be a Last Poet and to be so accessible to your community. He opens his home, his sanctuary for us. To discuss and to debate on current issues in our lives; to share our writing; and to share our hearts. We eat, drink, and smile smoke signals to one another. There should be more places like this all over our lives, in all different mediums. But, nonetheless here are some images from the event… 
here is Dun, watching it all…
Redefining Freedom reminding woman of their divine power!
Ngoma tuning us in to our chakras
Autumn Ashante breathing her ancestors
jessica Care Moore rocking the fro and her new book, “God is Not an America”
Brother Earl molding wings on his words…
I also gave a little speech about Dun’s crib and performed one of his poems entitled, Sun People. Rainmaker performed and so did Louis Reyes Rivera. It was really a beautiful afternoon in Harlem… Here is a video of jessica Care moore reciting a piece for King and the folk who asked her why would she name her son so…
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Then, on Tuesday, July 28, 2009 jessica Care moore rocked it out at Marcus Garvey Park with a full band. Her words were inspiring, sincere, and peroxide to the cuts and scrapes of our falls and tribulations. She read poems, rocked us out, and invited us into her personal story. Thanks for Caring Sis. A magical Sister: a juju-poet. Here are some pics…
j.C.m, juju, and zi
She read a poem about how black women deserve their own national holiday, since we created this whole damn thing. (She didn’t say it like that, but if you know the power of us then you know what I mean She performed a piece about light skin girls and her experience in South Africa and their caste system based on color gradient. She talked about her struggle with raising her son by herself and trying to support him and write (girl, I know). All in all, her devotion has not changed. She is here to inspire, empower, heal and educate people like her. Human.
On that note, I will like to thank the people, poets, and trees that made those days and this day possible. All the events were priceless and free. Harlem is the gift that keeps giving.
Be Well in Writing (Change a life or Two),
Judy
(I originally stared writing this on Sunday, July 26, 2009)
I feel rejuvenated and good. I am sitting here in my bedroom while the little one is as quite as Mount Zion. I just came from Abiodun’s Open House and I love feelings like these. A resurgence of energy that makes you feel like life is worth living to the maximum capacity. Some people think that living life to the maximum is to do wild things, or to travel all over the world, or to do every drug known to man, but that isn’t it. To live life to the fullest is to realize and live each moment in between your ears and outside of them. Your thoughts is your environment…
I was telling my two year old today, that life is a responsibility and in whatever we do there will be a consequence and a reward… always. Sometimes least of favorable things happen and even though that consequence may feel bad, there is still a reward in it, a lesson yearning to blossom. Sometimes we fail miserably, we fail over and over again, life feels like a cycle, rather than the upward spiral it is suppose to be— and that is because we have yet to value the value in valleys.
In order to appreciate a mountain, one must also appreciate the valley. A mountain has its highest point only because it has it lowest as well. That is the beauty of life. And the key to peace and understanding is to see the beauty even when everything around seems low and ugly.
I strongly believe that our destiny lies in our own hands… and I am not referring to the one that wipes your butt before the flush. Our hands follows whatever our thoughts created. You think, “I am hungry”, so you make something to eat. You think, “I am miserable, a failure”, and that is what will follow you: misery and defeat. There are even those who are so successful in material gain, but are so lonely and miserable because they fail to live in the moment of whatever they are doing. They want more and more, but life is more, nothing less. Life is worth your full attention… even when you are wiping your…
I think I feel good tonight, because I know that I can do this… Do everything I want and was meant to do. For the past couple of years I have felt let down because I was distracted by my thoughts, family, and peers. I felt like I haven’t accomplished anything and that was because I was not seeing the reward of my thoughts, but only the consequence. As a single mother, I have often felt unappreciated and devalued and that was because I was seeking a reward from the outside world: a check, a diploma, a certificate, and a wedding ring. I based my happiness on tangible things that if I probably had, I would find another reason to be unhappy. Happiness has nothing to do with anything but your thoughts. How you think will determine greatly how you feel about yourself.
Everything that I have been through has showed me everything that I want to accomplish, and ironically at the same time, it has also showed me that if I don’t accomplish those things the mere act of trying is enough and I am fine with that. Reaching perfection is not my goal. The goal is to live without expectations (for you will let yourself down inevitably) but just to live: to do what I am doing with my full attention. That is perfection!
I can still smile because the point is to do it and to live in that moment thinking, feeling, touching, tasting, seeing, smelling whatever is being done in that moment- that is the true essence of living in the moment. (It definitely requires a responsible trained heart and mind to be that way for distractions will try to make an appearance).
That when you are driving that is all you are doing and your mind is clear of that. That when you are listening to you friend that is all you are doing and your mind is clear of that. That when you are reading this post/point… (you should get the refrain by now).
With that being said, December 13, 2009 will be the released date for my book of pieces/poems entitled: He art: Pieces of a Whole… Tell me what yall think of the book cover. 
Be Well in Writing,
Judy
A couple of weekends ago, I went to Peace Village for a retreat entitled Listening: An Act of Love. The retreat could have not come at a better time because I was going through some issues of the heart and I did not know how to listen to myself.
During our introductions, we were asked why we chose to come to this particular retreat. I said that I often feel like I am a good listener to other people’s problems or desires but not of my own. I have spent too much of my time serving others or some other part of myself while simultaneously doing a disservice to myself. I do not want anyone to think that I am blaming anyone else for my shortcomings, because I did all this knowingly but without realization or peace.
And the realization was that I am not a good listener and still am not; it is all a work in progress One retreat will not make me a good listener, but it was the first step that I needed.
As common sense will tell you, the first rule of listening is silence. As obvious as this may seem, it really isn’t that clear. The mouth has to be silent in order to listen, but so does the mind. It happens to all of us, while someone is talking about whatever, something they said triggers us to think about a movie we rented and forgot to return, or we think about our rebuttal, or the wonderful advice that just came to us. All these thoughts take away from giving someone our undivided attention because we are distracted, offended, or want to be a savior to that person’s problems/desires. Silence is truly golden when we have the ability to silence our thoughts…
I also learned that the role to listening is to appreciate that EVERYONE in their core has an inner most essence of wisdom and that the listeners role is not to rescue or to give solutions but to help them to recall their core: their wisdom. So, the listeners role is to listen and allow “the talker” to come across their own solutions… When we offer our own solutions, we take away from their own process and we subtlety come across snobbishly because we act like we know and they do not… There are times when our friends or peers ask us for our advice, but most times people just want someone to talk to and listening is our gift to them. Think about it, how many times have you offered advice to someone and they did not take it… Was it really their advice?
There are several barriers that make us ineffective listeners. To lift those barriers we have to watch our thoughts from the following:
1. Early Habits: Behaviors that were taught to us in the past by our parents or relationships throughout our lives.
2. Few Rewards: Think about it, there were few rewards granted for being a good listener. If anything, we were often punished as children for not listening. We live in a society where we resist listening because we are taught that Speaking represents action and power and listening connotes weakness and apathy…
3. Assumption: We assume that others have had the same experiences as us and that they feel the same way about those experiences.
4. Judgmental: We listen and speak with judgment and we shouldn’t…
A quote from Mother Teresa: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them”
5. Beliefs: We are not aware how our beliefs influence what we value and our attitudes toward certain behaviors will not allow us to see their point of view.
6. Listening means to lay aside your own views and values in order to enter another’s world.
7. Notice your interest and non-interest. When you are not interested we tend to drift off- watch that. When your interested you become more involved- watch that to.
8. Listen for understanding, not agreement, disagreement, or belief
9. It is a myth to believe that speaking only represents power.
10. When our emotions are involved listening efficiently suffers and our emotions distract us from what is being conveyed by the speaker. “the talker”.
11. When your motivation in communication is to win the discussion or to change the other person, you are doomed to FAIL.
12. Cultural differences/ Prejudice (refer to beliefs)
13. Past Experiences
14. Drama Triangle: Where you listen through the perspective of being Persecutor, Rescuer. or a Victim… Rather that listening through the perspective of “I’m ok- You’re ok”
Persecutor thinks: “I am okay – You are not ok”
Rescuer thinks: I am okay- You are no okay, so let me help”
And the Victim thinks “I am not okay- You are okay” or “I am not okay- and You are not okay” – always defensive
The idea is to realize these patterns and to change them through first realization and then practice
REALIZATION BRINGS TRANSFORMATION
“Listening to others means you are listening to yourself”
If you have any questions or comments about anything I have written, please, please, please comment me. I promise I will be the best listener I could be I will love to continue this discussion…
Anyway, I recommend this book 
(Way of the Peaceful Warrior, by Dan Millman) if you want to transform your thinking… Take over your thoughts, don’t let them take over you
Be Well in Writing,
Judy
Today, July 16, 2009, is Mother Assata Shakur’s Birthday. For those of you who do not know this brilliant, beautiful, warrior, sister, New Yorker, is a Black Panther who was unjustly arrested for allegedly killing a New Jersey State trooper, along with several other alleged crimes. While in prison she became pregnant and before giving birth she escaped prison and has had political asylum in Cuba since 1984.
If you want to know more about her early life and about her involvement in the Panther Party and the Black Liberation Movement, her autobiography is a good place to start. 
Several years ago, I was invited to a private screening of her documentary entitled, “Eyes of the Rainbow”, the film really moved me and inspired me to write a poem. I have been wanting to give her this poem for the longest while, but her location is top secret because the United States has a million dollar bounty on her head… Anyway, I just wanted to wish the 62 years old warrior a Happy Born Day and I hope that wherever she is, she is happy, blessed, at peace, and allowed to be a mother to her children… The process for writing this poem was a direct inspiration from Assata’s words and wisdom… I love and thank you you Assata for your bravery in sharing your life and your story. Here is a poem for you:
“For Assata Shakur After Watching Eyes of the Rainbow”
I have learned to inhale the earth’s hemp.
Make knots in-between spaces of rope
Gym class never taught me to climb.
Progressives and public schools who keep our hands tied.
So, we aim for stars shaped like netted hoops, or
Shoot for heaven via veins.
I remember, when I slept walked
In and out periods of ringing bells:
Liberty’s death
Funerals of heritage
Considered hobbies
Regents testing our assimilation
Piecing history into a shapeless puzzle
Never taken out of the box, so
We stay stuck on the block
Trying to untie morning lies and mental detectors
Swearing our hearts to a hanging flag, with
No allegiance to life.
Those awake
Still snuggle in blankets of torn stripes,
Stitching up wounds of almost revolutionaries
Few seem to live through the ghost of the Sun’s continent
But there are traces of light in capoeira, shoutin’ in church,
Rebel armies gathering for prose/ tired of loosing just to gain humanity
Textbooks try to kill us all
In some ways they have
Made black as good as gold
Traded and molded
Seasoned over fires
Melted into pawns.
They dared us never to look back
Towards the abyss of Atlantic water
Flowing waves of salty tears
Of gods who cry over themselves
Ashamed and proud
Because they know the majesty
Behind the veil of water
To the East.
**** All Rights Reserved to the author Judith Angeles***
Be Well in Writing,
Judy
P.S. Some other good websites for Assata Shakur are www.handsoffassata.org and www.assatashakur.org
Also, a snippet of the documentary brought to you via youtube … I want my to make my ancestors proud!
Still hurting… Trying to make that change… Found what I want to say to Barry through the Great’s song… They are for me tooo… It takes two to tango.
Man In The Mirror lyrics
Ooh ooh ooh aah
Gotta make a change
For once in my life
It’s gonna feel real good
Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right
As I turned up the collar on
A favorite winter coat
This wind is blowin’ my mind
I see the kids in the street
With not enough to eat
Who am I to be blind
Pretending not to see their needs
A summer’s disregard
A broken bottle top
And a one man’s soul
They follow each other
On the wind ya’ know
‘Cause they got nowhere to go
That’s why I want you to know
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change, yey
Na na na, na na na, na na na na oh ho
I’ve been a victim of
A selfish kinda love
It’s time that I realize
There are some with no home
Not a nickel to loan
Could it be really pretending that they’re not alone
A willow deeply scarred
Somebody’s broken heart
And a washed out dream
(Washed out dream)
They follow the pattern of the wind ya’ see
‘Cause they got no place to be
That’s why I’m starting with me
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make that change
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
(Man in the mirror, oh yeah)
I’m asking him to change his ways, yeah
(Change)
No message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make the change
You gotta get it right, while you got the time
‘Cause when you close your heart
(You can’t close your, your mind)
Then you close your mind
(That man, that man, that man)
(That man, that man, that man)
(With the man in the mirror, oh yeah)
(That man you know, that man you know)
(That man you know, that man you know)
I’m asking him to change his ways
(Change)
No message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself then make that change
(Na na na, na na na, na na na na)
Ooh
Oh yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
(Na na na, na na na, na na na na)
Oh no
Oh no, I’m gonna make a change
It’s gonna feel real good
Sure mon
(Change)
Just lift yourself
You know, you got to stop it yourself
(Yeah)
Oh
Make that change
(I gotta make that change today, oh)
(Man in the mirror)
You got to, you got to not let yourself, brother oh
Yeah
You know that
(Make that change)
(I gotta make that make me then make)
You got, you got to move
Sure mon, sure mon
You got to
(Stand up, stand up, stand up)
Make that change
Stand up and lift yourself, now
(Man in the mirror)
Make that change
(Gonna make that change, sure mon)
(Man in the mirror)
You know it, you know it, you know it, you know
(Change)
Make that change
For the past several weeks, it has been pouring in NYC. Good weather for crops to grow and a heart to harden. I have drained all possible solutions to this madness I have placed myself into. I have cried and cried and cried, but nothing has come out of it yet. I am waiting- to see my life’s field overflow with abundance. But, perhaps my tears are too salty for anything to grow right now. Yet, I have watered my cheeks in hopes of growing a smile and uprooting this depression that is older than my birth.
This sadness is too old to count with the memories that have shaped the very fiber I have become. I hate to resort to sadness, but I find myself there more and more these days. I want to be like the Buddha, who says things like:
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him”…
I want happiness to follow me like that stray cat that you once fed and now will not let you cross the street in peace without him crossing in-between your ankles. But until then, I find myself alone, tightly sealed in a black plastic garbage bag, waiting for the garbage truck to take me away. And while I am in this bag of garbage, I try to sort all this waste out.
For the past couple of years I have been loosing “friends.” The people I have been there for as much as a freelance, student, single mother, often unemployed, in a unstable living situation can.
I look into myself to reflect and I ask myself: am I really such a horrible person? Or maybe it is just that I am a horrible friend. There is a difference. It is like those men who are great fathers, but terrible husbands… But, back to me. What is it about me that I cannot keep a friend? Is everyone around me growing, dying, or stagnant and in result I am being left behind or leaving others in my dust?
For me, it is especially hard to loose close companions because I do not have family in the States. So, when a friend leaves, it feels more like abandonment.
Friend #1:
Several months ago I was suppose to start building my blog and website. But a friend of mine at the time discouraged me by saying that I am not qualified to start my website or teach on the craft of poetry because my grammar is not up to par. The e-mail bothered me because it began “I don’t mean this to deter you from your goals, or the big picture but to show you some of the details.” Now, if you do not mean to do something than you do not do it. (They say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions). Anyway, she was uncomfortable with my response, which basically was duuuuh. I know I am not the professor at the Grammar Academy, yet I am a badass and I could do what I wanna. Then at the end of it all, she says not to contact her unless I had something positive to say, which I did not understand, considering she was the one who pointed out every flaw she thought I had in writing. And even though, I am “so flawed” I have taught Creative Writing and she has not. I have won poetry competitions and she has not. Then she talks poorly about a certain writer, than praises her on facebook. Whatever. By the way, I am the one who gave her the idea of translating Yusef Kumunyakaa’s work because she had no clue on whose work to translate for her school’s assignment. Granted, she is a good writer and her classes at NYU have helped her write some fire pieces, but I am a self-starter. I taught myself how to do a lot of things and I guess that angers her or she cannot respect that because it has taken her more time and money to prove her craft and or skill? Then her ass got pretentious and said, oh I can see your going through a lot I have social workers at my church that can help you… Can they help me with writing a poem Aida? NEXT…
Friend #2:
Then there is Zion’s ex-god-father. He has been very helpful in the past, but then he tried to get some va-jay-jay… And I was like no, and ever since then, he has been an ass and stop helping me like he use to. I did not like that and I pushed him away. Come on Joel, be nice…
Friend #3:
Then there is my rock star friend. She has been breaking up with me since 2003. She mostly gets mad with me because she says I have a big mouth. The last incident occurred when I invited a sista to chill with us in Harlem. So, when the sista fall through my rock star friend was like nah she cannot hang. Long story short, the next day the sista wants to know what was up, why she did not chill with us. And I told her the truth, our rock star friend was not feeling her and since I was at her house, we could not hang out. So, my rock star gets mad for telling sista that… But, I don’t understand why she was mad, if you aint like her then losing her as a friend should not bother you. Come on Gia, you know you a gangster…
Friend #4:
Where do I begin on this short-lived journey? I am hurt the most about this one because it is the most recent and I honestly felt this would be the one. Him and I share common interest. It was scary how much we clicked. Clichéd, but he lived in my head. But it turned out despite these similarities; he was a lying, sneaky, conniving asshole. And it did not bother me that he was flirting or trying to boink other women, what bothered me was that he was dishonest when I approached him about it. It was like he was on some mind your business shit. And on top of that, he wanted me to be faithful to him and was constantly making accusatory statements about me and other men. I even put my dream on hold because of him or because of my love of him. Either way, I am going to take his advice and mind my own business… Come on Barry be a Brother.
So, that is what I intend to do. To mind my own business. To do exactly what I want to do without worrying myself with what others think I should do. To write in fragments without grammar and punctuation.
And after this storm, after the puffiness in my eyes go down, and the clouds break away, I will look at my rainbow over my mountain (Hi! Zion) and enjoy the view from the top.
Thank You blog world for the release, the rain is clearing…
Be Well in Writing,
Judy
